


Not Yet

by RovingRomy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Written before episode 89, spoilers for episode 88
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 10:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10216247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RovingRomy/pseuds/RovingRomy
Summary: Vax dies, but is the Raven Queen ready to let him cross over?





	

It’s cold.

Vax remembers the cold, from the time he was almost killed by the Briarwoods in front of the palace in Emon, the time he rushed into Anders’ study and almost bled out on the floor, and more recently, the battle with Raishan, but pulled back from the cold by Keyleth’s touch. And other times, times that blur together with those he can remember more clearly.

This is different, though. This is and empty cold, isolating and silent.

He’s dead.

He’s sure of it. Whether it’s his connection to the Raven Queen or just how familiar he’s become with death, he’s certain that he has died.

For a while, maybe a moment, maybe an eternity, the only thing he can think about is Keyleth, hoping that at the very least he was able to help her do what needed to be done, that she was able to finish he quest and become the leader he knew she could be. That she didn’t let this loss destroy her.

When he opens his eyes he sees her, his Queen, standing before him, and he nods, accepting. For a long time he’d thought that this was his fate. He had started to think that maybe he had been wrong, that maybe he had a future and a destiny that was more, but clearly he was mistaken.

He’s okay with that. He thinks. Maybe.

Not much he can do about it now.

“I understand,” he nods. “I’m ready. Take me.”

A long silence stretches between them, and with no sense of time or space here he has no idea how long it is.  Her face is blank and cold, like everything else in this place (or this absence of a place), but not as cold as he remembers it being.

“No,” she eventually says, her voice soft but firm all at the same time.

“No?” Vax echoes.

“It is not your time yet, my Champion.”

Confusion floods through him. If it isn’t his time than why is he here? Why is she here with him? He can’t figure out how long he’s been here, and when he tries to figure it out he’s left with the feeling that it’s been both a matter of seconds and many, many years. Centuries. Millennia. Thinking back to his friends, the ones who have died and come back, he tries to remember what they’ve said about the other side, what they’ve said about being resurrected. Did they see the Raven Queen before they were brought back? Were they able to feel it when the spell was happening, before they woke up? He can’t imagine that they wouldn’t try for him, Keyleth and Vex at the very least, but he hasn’t felt anything, and without being able to know how much time has passed he has no way of knowing if they’ve tried yet or if they tried and failed.

Maybe that’s what this is. Maybe they’re casting the spell now and the Raven Queen is here to send him back.

“No,” she says again, and Vax is startled that she seems to be able to hear the thoughts he leaves unsaid. “This is not their doing. It is mine. You have far more left to do. It is not your time.”

“I don’t understand,” he says, his voice almost pleading. “I don’t understand what you want from me. You say you have more for me to do, but I’ve never been able to figure out what it is you expect from me. I’ve tried to respect the dead and help them to pass on, but beyond that I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“I do not merely refer to the work you have left to do for me,” she tells him, not answering his question. “You forget that the strands of destiny and fate are also my domain. I know the future that stretches out before you, Vax'ildan.  There is much left for you to do. Not just for me, but for others. Your presence in the world of the living is still  needed.”

“Then tell me, what is it that I need to do?”

“You have already accepted the future that lies ahead of you. Continue to follow that path.”

The Raven Queen takes his face in her hands. “You will come to me again when your time finally comes. But this is not that time.”

She leans forward to press a kiss to his forehead, and he only just feels the brush of her lips against his skin before his eyes snap open, the light burning them and making him squeeze them shut again as he tries to get his bearings.

“Vax?” he hears from somewhere below his head, a small, scared, sad voice. When he realizes that it’s Keyleth, and that she’s crying, his eyes open again, everything else floating away as his need to comfort and take care of her overrides everything else. He brings up his hand, struggling against how heavy his limbs feel, and strokes his fingers over the back of her head, trembling as he starts to remember everything that’s happened.

“Keyleth,” he rasps out, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

Her hands come up to clutch at his face, holding it between her hands in a way that’s similar to how the Raven Queen had been holding him just seconds (hours? days?) before. Keyleth’s face comes into view, eyes swollen, tears streaking down her cheeks, skin red and blotchy. Her expression is miles beyond confused. She’s baffled, practically disbelieving as she shakes her head. “No. I don’t understand how this is possible,” she mutters under her breath. “I must be dreaming. I have to be dreaming.

Vax uses his free arm to push himself up. It’s difficult, his whole body feeling like it’s weighed down, and his arm shakes behind him as he tries to support himself. Keyleth doesn’t move, stunned into stillness, so when he’s finally able to get himself up her face is just a couple of inches away from his, her fingers still loosely holding his face. She shakes her head sadly as she says, louder than before. "I’m dreaming.”

“You’re not,” he whispers, his hand sliding around from the back of her head to cup her cheek, his thumb wiping a tear away.

Keyleth shakes her head again, her bottom lip quivering as her hands press more firmly against his face, her fingers tracing over his features. When the return to the sides of his face he leans in, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss, leaning into it as he brings up his other arm, his hand stroking at her other cheek. Her hands slide down his neck, her fingers stroking around until they still on his pulse point, where the blood is pounding steadily.

He holds the kiss for as long as possible, only breaking away when his lungs start to burn. Keyleth gasps in a breath when they part, her eyes wide. “You’re really here,” she whispers. “You’re really alive.”

“Did you guys do a spell?” he asks, trying to put together the pieces of happened.

“No,” she tells him. “We’re going to… we were going to do it in the morning. After we rested up. I don’t… how is this possible?”

“The Raven Queen,” Vax explains, his throat sore despite the fact that the scratchiness is starting to fade. “She just told me that it wasn’t my time yet. That I still had more to do.”

Her eyes fill with tears, her hands coming back up to his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This happened because of me. Because of my Aramente. This is all my fault.”

“It’s not,” he assures her, pulling her close. “I made the choice a long time ago to follow you anywhere. Anywhere. You wouldn’t have been able to stop me from following you. Where you go, I go. Forever. Okay?”

Keyleth nods, her face crumbling as a sob escapes her. Vax pulls her in, wrapping his arms around her as she buries her face in his shoulder. He wonders if this is what the Raven Queen meant, if this is the path that’s stretching out before him. He hopes it is. There’s no other future he can imagine now without Keyleth, and he’s not sure he wants a path that isn’t with her. It must be, he thinks. She said that he had only just accepted that he had a future, and this is the one he’s accepted: returning to Zephra with Keyleth and living with her for as long as they have. That’s the only future he’s even really considered, so if that wasn’t what the Raven Queen was talking about, he can’t possibly imagine what she meant.

This is his future. This is what he’s meant for.

“I love you, Vax,” Keyleth whispers into his ear.

“I love you, too,” he responds, his arms tightening around her. “Forever.”


End file.
